


Two Moodz

by Shifting_Through_Ash



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Addiction, Drug Use, F/F, Happy Ending, Near Death Experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24161113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shifting_Through_Ash/pseuds/Shifting_Through_Ash
Summary: Based on the Fall Out Boy song Jet Pack Blues.Beca Mitchell had it all. She had the loving girlfriend. She had the house of her dreams.She was making millions working as a DJ and music producer. People would kill to be her.Beca just wanted to fucking feel something.
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Two Moodz

**Author's Note:**

> _Fight off the light tonight and just stay with me, honey don’t you leave_ \- Fall Out Boy, Jet Pack Blues. 
> 
> Sequel in progress.
> 
> The title changed, now is from the Blackbear song by the same title.

Beca woke up to a blinding light and a rhythmic beeping. The stillness of the hospital room offering no distractions to Beca’s raging thoughts. She looked to the chairs in the room. Chloe left her jacket here. 

Chloe shouldn’t have had to seen her like this. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this. She hoped that the press didn’t catch wind of it. Her dad was gonna flip. He’s gonna blame her career. He wouldn’t be wrong. 

Beca looked at her IV. She followed the line up into the saline bag. It was almost empty. She was probably dehydrated. She rarely drank anything without alcohol in it.

Eventually the nurse walked into the room. Beca had spent the last twenty minutes looking at the call nurse button, silently debating with herself whether she should press it or not. The man smiled at Beca. “Good morning! How are you feeling?” 

Beca shrugged. It was pitch black outside. He was just being unnecessarily happy. 

“You’ve had a rough couple of nights,” The nurse smiled. He checked the screen beside her bed. “The doctor will be here in a few hours,” he said as he wrote something on her clipboard. “She’s nice, I promise. If you need anything don’t be afraid to hit that button.” 

Beca stared out of the window as the man spoke to her. As he opened the door to leave, Beca looked at him. “What happened?” 

He looked at her. “You went into cardiac arrest. The doctor will be able to answer more.” 

The doctor told her that the good news was the stitches could come out in pretty soon. The bad news was her forehead needed seven stitches. Apparently the corner of sinks weren’t the best place to hit you head when you pass out.

They found traces of alcohol and cocaine in her system. They told her that was a bad thing. Her heart had been overwhelmed and stopped; she was lucky to be alive. The medical coma only lasted for two days.

“Am I gonna be arrested?” 

The doctor smiled softly. “No, you wouldn’t get charged for an at home drug over dose.”

* * *

The EMT wheeled Beca out of the house and into the ambulance. Chloe followed them as far as they would let her. “Please come home,” she whispered. The doors closed.

The driver looked at Chloe. “Do you want to ride with us?” he asked. 

Chloe looked over her shoulder at the girls. 

“Go,” CR told her. “Take care of your girl. I’ll make sure your house gets locked up.” 

Chloe couldn’t express her gratitude at that moment. She just nodded at the woman and looked at the man. “Please.” 

He nodded. “Sit in the passenger’s seat.” 

She rushed to the front. Chloe clenched her fists. She would not cry yet. Beca would be fine. Beca’s heart still wasn’t beating on its own. Chloe would hold herself together for Beca.

* * *

The doctor was younger than Beca expected. She must have been new. This was probably her first time on her own. 

Beca almost died. Chloe performed CPR for six minutes before the EMTs arrived. She broke a rib. The doctor told her to stop drinking and doing coke at the same time. Something about uppers and downers not mixing well. 

“How long have you been using?” She asked. 

“A while.” That’s a stupid question. 

“Rough estimate?” she asked. 

Beca looked at the ceiling. It was white. Fuck.

* * *

It started in a club. She was having an off night, snapping at people who didn’t deserve it. The club manager approached her with some coke. “It will perk you up. People are here to party, Mitchell.” 

She snorted the coke that night. It was a few weeks, she didn’t think about it. It was nice when she used it but she didn’t need it. She was at another club, not for a job this time. It was Fat Amy’s party. She didn’t want to be here. Chloe asked her to come. She couldn’t say no to Chloe.

She texted a friend, cocaine Shane as they called him. He had met in the hour. She snuck off to the bathroom and snorted her lines, suddenly more than willing to dance the night away. 

Beca started most morning nowadays with a line of coke. When they had a party, she would take her time getting ready, snorting a few lines and taking a few shots. She hated when they asked her why she was drinking so much. Now she didn’t worry about it. 

* * *

“About eight months, give or take.” That's a lie. It's been a year.

The doctor wrote something down. “I want you to think about getting help Rebecca.” 

"Oh yeah? Who’s gonna help me?” 

She sighed. “There are support groups. I can make a list of counselors that would be able to help. The lining of your sinus is being eaten away. You’ve probably been having nose bleeds and constant running noses? You’re lucky you don’t have holes in your lining yet. This can cause permanent damage.” 

Beca stared out of the window. “I’ll take my chances.” 

The doctor nodded. “I hope you reconsider. Visiting hours start at nine. You had quite a few people waiting for you these past few days.”

The doctor walked away. Beca was left alone. She hated being alone with her thoughts. At least when she was high, she wasn’t thinking like this.

The Bella's were gonna want to see her. She was going to have to explain. She hated explaining. People tried to help when she explained. She didn't want help.

She wanted some coke. It probably _was_ a problem. Beca knew Chloe was worried. Hopefully someone told Chloe she was alive and awake. Chloe was going to think that it was her fault. It wasn't Chloe's fault.

* * *

Beca was wheeled out of the hospital. Chloe standing there, wearing her black coat, the one she hated. Someone else must have brought it for her. As they got closer, Beca could see Chloe’s face was red and swollen. Beca hated that she was the reason Chloe was crying. She knew these weren't going to be the last tears that Chloe shed due to Beca. 

Chloe smiled when she saw Beca. “You ready to go home?” she asked quietly, as if speaking too loudly would break her carefully pieced together composure. 

Beca nodded. She felt like she was going to cry. She wasn't sure that she could cry.

The car ride was silent. Chloe always listened to music when she drove. She was driving in silence because of Beca's fuck up.

Beca unlocked the door while Chloe followed. It felt like it had been months. Her house didn’t feel the same anymore. She sat on the loveseat immediately expecting a conversation. 

“Were you trying to kill yourself?” Chloe finally asked. She wasn’t looking Beca, instead fiddling with her key chain. 

“Dude, no!” Beca’s eyes snapped to meet Chloe’s. “Never! I would never do that.” 

“Then what happened? They wouldn’t tell me anything.” Damn laws. Just because Chloe was the girlfriend and not the wife meant that they wouldn’t tell her Beca’s results.

“I..." Beca lost all of the steam she had just build up. "It wasn't quite an overdose. But basically I overdosed on coke. And you broke my rib, so thanks for that," she joked trying desperately to make the situation lighter. She put smile on her face. Tilted her head the way that Chloe loved.

“You could have died Beca.” Chloe wasn't falling for it, her tone deadly serious. Not a hint of a smile on her face. 

“Yeah, I know. I just... I didn’t care.” For the first time in a while Beca was being honest. She saw Chloe flinch. Beca decided that was the wrong time to be honest. 

“Oh my god." Chloe turned away.

Beca looked at her shoes. “I’m sorry?” 

The silence was deafening. Their entire relationship had so much noise. From Beca's mixing to Chloe just singing because she was happy. They always had music going in their house. Chloe was lost in her thoughts. Beca could only think about how she’s been fucking up consistently for the past nine months. She fucking hated the silence.

“Do you love me?” Chloe asked moments later, still not looking at Beca. 

* * *

Beca held her head in her hands. With a sigh, she looked at herself the mirror checking for coke on her face. She started with alcohol. It didn’t help. She had more than enough money to support a drug habit. She fought it for a while. 

This wasn’t weed or a prescription. This was the hard shit. This was serious. She knew that she should get help. Normal people didn’t use drugs because they didn’t feel sometimes. Normal people didn’t get to the point where they couldn’t sleep for days so they drank until they passed out. But fuck it. She snorted a line. What did it matter? She was gonna die anyway, might as well have fun. 

Beca stumbled into the house. She shook it off. No one noticed. If they did, they thought she tripped over the step. She smiled when she had to, laughed when it expected. She snuck off to the bathroom when she could, the only place she could get her fix. 

Chloe held her tight when she saw her. Beca loved being high and holding Chloe. Nothing was better than touching Chloe and being touched. She loved her girlfriend. So fucking much. Beca wished it always felt like this. 

* * *

“More than anything, Chloe.” 

“Then why isn’t that enough?” 

Beca looked back at her girlfriend. “It doesn’t have anything to do with you Chlo,” she spoke softly. “It’s me. Something’s fucked up in here.” She tapped on the side of her head. 

Chloe sat on the couch ungracefully. Beca fucked up again. That’s all she seemed to be able to do.

“You weren’t trying to die?” She asked, softer this time, less of an accusation and more of her girlfriend scared of losing her. 

Beca’s eyebrows furrowed. She moved off of the loveseat and knelt in front of Chloe. “I would never do that to you, Chloe. I just wanted to fucking feel something. The party... I didn’t care and I wanted to go take a nap but everyone expected me to be happy so I snorted some coke to get there. I just hate feeling like this and anything that makes it go away is fucking bliss. And it's so fucking hard to stop feeling like this.” 

* * *

Beca was vibing on the couch. The booze finally kicking in. Her ears were ringing. She stood up too fast. Wait, when did she stand? The girls laughed, calling her a lightweight. She couldn't hear them. Beca stumbled to the bathroom. She didn’t make it to sit on the side of the tub before the darkness over took her.

* * *

Chloe was crying over Beca again. Beca sat beside her and held her. She ran her hand through Chloe’s hair. “I’m alright Chlo,” she whispered. 

“I was so close to losing you.” Chloe pulled away from Beca. "Don't tell me you’re alright. How long have you been using?” 

“Does it matter?” 

Chloe sighed and closed her eyes. “You had a fucking heart attack at twenty-four, Beca. Something is wrong. You _almost died!_ Yes it _fucking_ matters!” 

Beca grabbed Chloe’s hands. “Chloe..." Beca sighed. "I was working and I wasn’t feeling it. Jack gave me a line or two and I just.... it made me better. It made me happy. That was August before Fat Amy's party.”

"Fat Amy's party? From two years ago?"

Shit was it two years ago? Beca nodded thinking it over. 

"You can't keep doing this Beca. I can't lose you like this."

“I know. Chloe.” This wasn’t just something she could brush off and she knew that. She wasn’t going to get the stitches out of her head and go back to normal. Tomorrow she wasn’t going to just wake up and snort a line and live her life. She just didn’t fucking care. 

* * *

Chloe didn’t do drugs. Nowadays Chloe didn’t even drink very often. She was a school teacher now. She had responsibilities that were difficult when she was hungover. Beca was a fucking idiot. Chloe was a saint. She was a fucking first grade special ed teacher. She didn’t need a drug addict of a girlfriend. 

She had been doing CPR for so long. CR offered to take over. Chloe was tempted to say yes. She was still getting good depth on her compressions. But fuck it was starting to take a toll on her. 

The EMTs arrived before she gave control to CR.

“Has she taken any drugs tonight?” the man asked as they rolled her out of the house. 

“She’s been drinking but she doesn’t do any drugs.” 

Chloe didn’t know that Beca’s pupils betrayed her statement.

Chloe followed them out to the ambulance. She watched as they locked her into place. All Chloe could think was ‘please come home.’ 

* * *

“I think I need help, Chloe,” Beca said lying her her back staring at the ceiling. It wasn’t a fucking day before Beca had snorted more coke. She felt like shit still. She wanted more. The doctor told her if she over did it, she would die. Not might, but would die. Maybe not on the first or second or eighth use but her heart would go out again.

Chloe rolled over. She grabbed Beca’s hand. “Okay.” she whispered. “What do I need to do?” 

“I don’t know how to start,” Beca whispered. 

“Okay. Do you still have anymore?” 

Beca nodded. “In the bathroom closet. In a shoe box.” 

“Those old vans that I hate?!” Chloe sat up. 

“I knew you’d never look in there. You wouldn't even touch the box,” Beca laughed. 

“Should I get it now?” Chloe whispered. 

Beca wanted to say no. To tell Chloe that she didn’t need her to get out of their bed. She wanted to tell her she was strong enough to dump it herself, that she wouldn’t open the bag and snort a line without a thought. Instead she took a deep breath. “I use a lot in the mornings.” 

Chloe nodded. “So that’s a yes.” She kicked the blanket off of herself and made her way into the bathroom. She paused at the doorway. “Is that why you stopped drinking coffee?” she tilted her head in question. 

“Yeah. I fucking hate coffee. But it wakes me up. Coke’s like coffee without it tasting like coffee.” 

Chloe shook her head. “Coffee is amazing,” she muttered to herself.

Beca sighed. She wanted to stop her. Slowly she stood and followed. “That’s all, I promise,” she whispered as Chloe pulled out the baggie. 

Chloe looked at Beca watching her for any hint of dishonesty. She’s seen coke before. Friends of friends using it at parties. This was a lot of money. Chloe flushed it in front of Beca. 

Beca knew that it was a good thing that shit was killing her. It still hurt watching her dump it into the toilet. 

* * *

Chloe was sitting at Beca’s bedside. She didn’t know what to do. Beca was in a coma. They told her that she didn’t breathe for too long. Beca could have brain damage. Chloe was fucking terrified. She knew that she wasn’t going to sleep very well tonight or ever maybe. 

They told her if, _if_ Beca woke up not when, _if_ she woke up, she might not be the same.

She had to call Aubrey. She would want to know her best friend’s girlfriend could possibly be in a coma for the rest of her life. She had to fucking call Beca’s Dad. As hard as she tried, she could not stand that man or the way he talked to Beca. 

Chloe couldn’t believe she missed this. Beca has been losing weight. She was agitated. Chloe just though she was under stress from artists that wanted her to collaborate on their albums.

She should have known. Should have seen something. And now Beca was dying and all she could do was sit here and wait. 

“Miss?” A nurse stood at the doorway. “Visiting hours are almost over.” 

Chloe wipes her tears and nodded. “I’ll start heading out now.”

The nurse nodded before moving on.

Chloe looked back at Beca. “I know you can hear me, please come home. Please. I promise I’ll do better. Just come back to me.” She would be more observant. She would see _Beca_ , not the character she played for the camera. 

* * *

Beca went to therapy. They told her she was bipolar. It made a lot of sense. They told her that people with mental disorders often self-medicated before they were diagnosed.

They put her on some prescription. She didn’t struggle with it quite as much when they got her dosage figured out. She had to go to NA for a few weeks. Most of the time, she only went to meetings when she was in a bad spot.

Once she got back to work, she stumbled. She almost went to a club every morning once she started working again. She made it through with only a few slip ups. She always told Chloe when she did.

Beca’s therapist recommended that she start drinking tea. Something about habits are easier to change than break. That having a new morning task would make things easier. Beca thought it was unnecessary and silly, but she did it anyway.

Turns out she really liked tea. She actually started a collection of sorts. She had at least twelve different flavors. She bought a kettle and brewed at least four cups a day.

Chloe would joke with her telling her that she just traded her cocaine addiction for a tea addiction. It was only partially true.

* * *

Chloe saw Beca standing there looking over the backyard. She smiled as her girlfriend made her way over to her. “Hey babe,” Chloe whispered. 

“Hi.” 

Beca stood behind Chloe and wrapped her arms around her waist. She placed her forehead on Chloe’s shoulder. 

Chloe placed her hands on Beca’s arms. “Are you okay?” 

“Of course. I’m always great. Just missed you.” 

“I’m right here Becs.” Chloe leaned her head back. She couldn’t see Beca’s pinpoint pupils or smell the vodka on her breath. 

“Just wanted to feel you.“

“As soon as this party is over you can feel me all you want.” 

Beca chuckled. “I’m go set off the smoke detector, kick everyone out. Get you alone quicker.” 

Chloe laugh as she turned in Beca’s arms. "Sounds good."

The woman swayed back and forth to the music coming from the otherwise of the yard. Beca quietly sang to Chloe. 

Beca emptied the rest of Chloe’s drink. “You want a refill?” Beca asked. 

“Sure.” 

Beca took her cup and walked away. 

Chloe watched her smile and mingle as she made her away to the house. All Chloe could think was she wished that it was always going to be like this. 

* * *

Beca sat in the corner of the club. Chloe’s sparkling water sitting in front of her. She sipped it as she watched Chloe dance. She told Chloe she didn’t want to hold her back, she didn’t mind if Chloe danced, Beca just wasn’t feeling it. Her therapist told her to place boundaries, if she didn’t want to do something she shouldn’t do it. 

She didn’t mind being here. Watching her. Chloe was always a good dancer. Even better when she had a good partner.

Aubrey partied about as often as they did. She’s been spending more time with them since Beca’s hospital trip.

Beca missed Aubrey. The joy that she brought out in Chloe was infectious. Once Aubrey realized that Beca was going to be a constant part of Chloe’s life, her walls lowered. She became more human than group leader. 

Chloe made her way back to Beca. “Are you alright?” she spoke into her ear over the music. 

Beca smiled at Chloe. “Yeah, I'm good.” 

“Not struggling with anything?” 

“I would let you know if I was having problems. I promise.” 

Chloe grinned wildly. “I’m glad. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Chloe grabbed her drink. She faked a glare at Beca when she realized the glass was almost empty. “Do you want another?” 

Beca nodded. 

“I’ll be back.” 

“I’ll be waiting."

* * *

Chloe woke up way too early for a Saturday. Beca was damn lucky to have her. 

There was a farmer’s market that set up every Saturday near their neighborhood. One of the moms of Chloe’s student told her about it. Of course it opened at seven and closes by noon.

Chloe arrived last week at eleven just to find that they were out of what she wanted. This time she got there at opening. 

One vendor sold teas. All kinds of different blends made with different spices. He sold them by the tea bag or by the box. Chloe knew a bit of what Beca likes in a tea, but she still got a bit of everything.

Beca, of course, was still sleeping when she got home. The smaller woman curled up on her side in a cocoon of blankets. Chloe smiled when she saw Beca snuggling with Chloe’s pillow. Not going to disrupt Beca’s sleeping, Chloe went into the living room and pulled up a book on her phone.

It was one in the afternoon before Beca woke up. She made her way out of their bedroom and immediately froze.

Chloe had a table full of food waiting for Beca.

”I got you some teas,” Chloe smiled with the box of assorted teas.

”Babe, you didn’t have to do this.”

”Of course I did. It’s your birthday after all. I figured we could have a nice quiet day in, unless you had plans?”

Beca blinked away her tears. “No, that sounds perfect. Thank you.” Beca pulled Chloe into her arms. She kissed her neck before resting her forehead on Chloe’s shoulder. “I love you so much Chlo.”

Chloe’s smile widened. “I love you too, Beca. Happy birthday.” 

* * *

Beca led Chloe into the empty pool. Lights strung up over the walls, softly glowing. The floor was covered in yellow daisy petals. Beca wore a simple white dress shirt and black slacks.

Chloe was beautiful as always. She wore a bright yellow sundress.

Beca stood in front of Chloe, taking a deep breath she smiled. “Open your eyes.”

"Oh.” Their eyes meet. Beca already wanted to fucking cry but she would not cry. At least no until Chloe answered her.

"Beca, what are you doing?" Chloe whispered.

Beca dropped down on one knee in front of her. "Chloe Beale. I'm an asshole, and I'm grumpy. and I sleep for weeks only to run around for days and fuck up my life. I'm an addict and I can't drink. I've lied about my height, I'm actually five-one and a half but I say I'm five-two."

"I know," Chloe whispered with a watery smile.

Beca smiled up at her. "You aren't any of those things. You're amazing and the literal embodiment of sunshine in human form. I don't know why you chose me but every day for the rest of my life, I want to try to prove that you made the right choice. I love you Chloe. I want to grow with you. Will you marry me?”

Chloe knelt in front of Beca. "Yes."

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a lot darker, with Beca dealing with harsher depression and ending up in the hospital for other reasons but I couldn't write that, I tried for months but it was just too hard and too dark. I rethought the premise and the entire thing was rewritten in a week.  
> There might be a sequel. At least a short one shot. I have more thoughts about this world.


End file.
